Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
