i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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