We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
