Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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