when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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