:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it hurts more in the daytime
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
