Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
