I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
