You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
