did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize