I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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