she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
