Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
