I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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