What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
