I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
