and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
