I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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