fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
