There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
