I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize