i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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