my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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