She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
