I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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