Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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