i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I want her autograph on my taint
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
