Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
