roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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