ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
