PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
