hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
