Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Your penis caused this!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
