Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
