It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize