never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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