bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
