he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
