Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
