Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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