I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
