So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
