Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize