Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Barsexuality is the new black.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
