i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
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