you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize