Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
