did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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