plz talk dirty to me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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