I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
