So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
