Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
