So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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