I just cut my nipple shaving
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
