So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
