I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
