How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
