I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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