Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
