C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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