Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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