I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize