I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
