he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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