My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Let's get the cat blown out
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
