how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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